Thursday, July 11, 2013

July 5, 2013

Dear Tatum,

I spent the early afternoon with Grandma at the French Prairie. The name is deceiving; it has nothing to do with France or prairies. It is the name of the “skilled nursing facility.” In a town populated by retired white people and Mexican and Russian Orthodox immigrants, it seems an odd choice for a name. Maybe it’s supposed to bring to mind a calming field filled with lavender, but it couldn’t be further from it. Even Grandma calls it weird.

After she ate lunch and we waited for her bathroom break, we went for a drive. I had to ask permission to take her and was told she couldn’t leave often because of insurance. Apparently if she is well enough to go for a car ride they may think she does not need to be there. Because really, it’s healthier to be locked inside sitting in a wheelchair or lying in a bed all day. It’s clear these places, and insurance companies, really do have the patient’s health and well being as their biggest concern.

Grandma wanted to see her garden, so we went to her house. The first thing she did was start weeding. I had to tell her to stop. I’m having to tell her to stop doing a lot of things, including driving. She’ll say, “I can’t drive for now,” and I’ll say, “You can’t drive ever.” She makes a face at me when I say this, but she knows. There is a sense of finality for some things that is hard for both of us, albeit in different ways. I wonder, will I have to hide the car keys or give them to Vick and Millie, the neighbors, when I leave?

We drove out to the farm stand after sitting for a few minutes with a glass of juice. I didn’t think she would want to leave home but she was ready to go. I got her a farm donut and we shared some cherries as we drove to Mt. Angel and back. By the time we returned to the Prairie it was a rush to get Grandma to the bathroom, but we made it just in time. We probably shouldn’t eat on any more car rides if we want to avoid accidents.

I’m trying to figure out what’s best for Grandma, and while the Prairie doesn’t seem horrible, I don’t think it’s the place for her. I’m off to spend the evening with Slip and Arrow.

Love,

Gin

Decorations from Grandma's room. A nautical theme for the French Prairie.